About me: I think I am changing the world, but I am not. I think I am contributing to the Indian economy, but I guess I am not. I think I love my work, but I do not. I think I hate all people who made me earn my engineering degree, and I do. I think I am living, but and most importantly, I am LOOKING for someone!! Ok...I won't be funny anymore. I am a cool guy with a zeal to enjoy life (If you know me--> "Just stop laughing!!")
Relationship status : what?
Birthday : The day my PL is about to fire me.
Age : 10111
Here for: web browsing in company hours.
Children : can't be (hey, don't get me wrong here!!)
Ethnicity : Programmer.
Languages I speak : Java, C/C++, 010101110101
Religion: I get holidays on all religious festivals, so I love all religions.
Political view : the guy sitting beside me is a pig!!
Humor : weekly.
Fashion: Ask my company HR. Btw, I like jeans, t-shirt and a cross-bag.
Smoking: The second greatest pleasure on the earth.
Drinking : The first is this.
Pets: Yeah, my PL looks like a dog. :-)
Living: Cummon, this is a stupid one. How can this be asked to a software engineer? Believe me, I am living!!
Hometown : My company (Oh God! Please bring my appraiser to this page)
Webpage: http://naukri. com
Passions: searching for the cheapest pub around, cursing my company, looking for other company, remembering my good old college days, worrying about my future.
Sports: quake, CS (Counter Strike), computer chess.
Activities: Are you crazy?
Books: "How to lose weight in 20 days?", "How to live a happy life?", "101 ways to attract a girl", "Java Unleashed", "C++ at your footsteps", Others censored.
Music: Metallica, Pink Floyd, Nirvana, ACDC, and anything depressing.
Tv shows : can't afford one.
Cuisines : Bread Butter, Maggi, anything available within 200 meteres of my cubicle....
Wednesday, 14 February 2007
Orkut Profile : Software Engineer
Tuesday, 13 February 2007
Doctors vs Engineers
Both groups are desperately trying to prove their superiority .
SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI):---------- --------- --------- -------- ------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- - -
NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct Train to PUNE. So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, from there they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE.
SCENE 2 (MUMBAI - LONAVALA):------------ --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ - -----------
TC arrives....
ALL DOCTORS IN ONE TOILET.ALL ENGINEERS IN THE OPPOSITE.
One engineer gets out and knocks the door of Doctors toilet, One hand comes with the tickets, he takes theticket and comes in Engg. Bathroo! m... TC DRIVES out ALL the doctors from the toilet and they are heavily fined.
SCENE 3 ( LONAVALA):------------ --------- --------- ---- ------------ --------- --------- ------------ - -----------
This time doctors decide that they will play the same (1 ticket) trick.
ALL Doctors take 1 tickets...Engineers BUY all 7 tickets this time...SO TC Comes.
Doctors are still searching for toilet in the LOCAL train.
The Husband Shop
A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Instructions at the entrance describe how the store operates:
1. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
2. There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
3. There is, however, a catch: you may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband.
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs.
On the second floor the sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs and love kids.
On the third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and there the sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!" Still,
She goes to the fifth floor and there the sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love kids, are drop-dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor.
The sign there reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store!
Tuesday, 6 February 2007
Have Passion!
It was probably the April of 1974. Bangalore was getting warm and gulmohars were blooming at the IISc campus. I was the only girl in my postgraduate department and was staying at the ladies' hostel. Other girls were pursuing research in different departments of Science.
I was looking forward to going abroad to complete a doctorate in computer science. I had been offered scholarships from Universities in the US. I had not thought of taking up a job in India.
One day, while on the way to my hostel from our lecture-hall complex, I saw an advertisement on the notice board. It was a standard job-requirement notice from the famous automobile company Telco (now Tata Motors). It stated that the company required young, bright engineers, hardworking and with an excellent academic background, etc.
At the bottom was a small line: "Lady candidates need not apply."
I read it and was very upset. For the first time in my life I was up against gender discrimination.
Though I was not keen on taking up the job, I saw it as a challenge. I had done extremely well in academics, better than most of my male peers. Little did I know then that in real life academic excellence is not enough to be successful.
After reading the notice I went fuming to my room. I decided to inform the topmost person in Telco's management about the injustice the company was perpetrating. I got a postcard and started to write, but there was a problem: I did not know who headed Telco.
I thought it must be one of the Tatas. I knew JRD Tata was the head of the Tata Group; I had seen his pictures in newspapers (actually, Sumant Moolgaokar was the company's chairman then). I took the card, addressed it to JRD and started writing. To this day I remember clearly what I wrote.
"The great Tatas have always been pioneers. They are the people who started the basic infrastructure industries in India, such as iron and steel, chemicals, textiles and locomotives.
They have cared for higher education in India since 1900 and they were responsible for the establishment of the Indian Institute of Science. Fortunately, I study there. But I am surprised how a company such as Telco is discriminating on the basis of gender."
I posted the letter and forgot about it. Less than 10 days later, I received a telegram stating that I had to appear for an interview at Telco's Pune facility at the company's expense. I was taken aback by the telegram. My hostel mate told me I should use the opportunity to go to Pune free of cost and buy them the famous Pune saris for cheap! I collected Rs 30 each from everyone who wanted a sari. When I look back, I feel like laughing at the reasons for my going, but back then they seemed good enough to make the trip.
It was my first visit to Pune and I immediately fell in love with the city.
To this day it remains dear to me. I feel as much at home in Pune as I do in Hubli, my hometown. The place changed my life in so many ways. As directed, I went to Telco's Pimpri office for the interview.
There were six people on the panel and I realised then that this was serious business.
"This is the girl who wrote to JRD," I heard somebody whisper as soon as I entered the room. By then I knew for sure that I would not get the job. The realisation abolished all fear from my mind, so I was rather cool while the interview was being conducted.
Even before the interview started, I reckoned the panel was biased, so I told them, rather impolitely, "I hope this is only a technical interview."
They were taken aback by my rudeness, and even today I am ashamed about my attitude. The panel asked me technical questions and I answered all of them.
Then an elderly gentleman with an affectionate voice told me, "Do you know why we said lady candidates need not apply? The reason is that we have never employed any ladies on the shop floor. This is not a co-ed college; this is a factory. When it comes to academics, you are a first ranker throughout. We appreciate that, but people like you should work in research laboratories."
I was a young girl from small-town Hubli. My world had been a limited place.
I did not know the ways of large corporate houses and their difficulties, so I answered, "But you must start somewhere, otherwise no woman will ever be able to work in your factories."
Finally, after a long interview, I was told I had been successful. So this was what the future had in store for me. Never had I thought I would take up a job in Pune. I met a shy young man from Karnataka there, we became good friends and we got married.
It was only after joining Telco that I realized who JRD was: the uncrowned king of Indian industry. Now I was scared, but I did not get to meet him till I was transferred to Bombay. One day I had to show some reports to Mr Moolgaokar, our chairman, who we all knew as SM. I was in his office on the first floor of Bombay House (the Tata headquarters) when, suddenly JRD walked in. That was the first time I saw "appro JRD". Appro means "our" in Gujarati. This was the affectionate term by which people at Bombay House called him.
I was feeling very nervous, remembering my postcard episode. SM introduced me nicely, "Jeh (that's what his close associates called him), this young woman is an engineer and that too a postgraduate.
She is the first woman to work on the Telco shop floor." JRD looked at me. I was praying he would not ask me any questions about my interview (or the postcard that preceded it).
Thankfully, he didn't. Instead, he remarked. "It is nice that girls are getting into engineering in our country. By the way, what is your name?"
"When I joined Telco I was Sudha Kulkarni, Sir," I replied. "Now I am Sudha Murthy." He smiled and kindly smile and started a discussion with SM. As for me, I almost ran out of the room.
After that I used to see JRD on and off. He was the Tata Group chairman and I was merely an engineer. There was nothing that we had in common. I was in awe of him.
One day I was waiting for Murthy, my husband, to pick me up after office hours. To my surprise I saw JRD standing next to me. I did not know how to react. Yet again I started worrying about that postcard. Looking back, I realise JRD had forgotten about it. It must have been a small incident for him, but not so for me.
"Young lady, why are you here?" he asked. "Office time is over." I said, "Sir, I'm waiting for my husband to come and pick me up." JRD said, "It is getting dark and there's no one in the corridor.
I'll wait with you till your husband comes."
I was quite used to waiting for Murthy, but having JRD waiting alongside made me extremely uncomfortable.
I was nervous. Out of the corner of my eye I looked at him. He wore a simple white pant and shirt. He was old, yet his face was glowing. There wasn't any air of superiority about him. I was thinking, "Look at this person. He is a chairman, a well-respected man in our country and he is waiting for the sake of an ordinary employee."
Then I saw Murthy and I rushed out. JRD called and said, "Young lady, tell your husband never to make his wife wait again." In 1982 I had to resign from my job at Telco. I was reluctant to go, but I really did not have a choice. I was coming down the steps of Bombay House after wrapping up my final settlement when I saw JRD coming up. He was absorbed in thought. I wanted to say goodbye to him, so I stopped. He saw me and paused.
Gently, he said, "So what are you doing, Mrs Kulkarni?" (That was the way he always addressed me.) "Sir, I am leaving Telco."
"Where are you going?" he asked. "Pune, Sir. My husband is starting a company called Infosys and I'm shifting to Pune."
"Oh! And what will you do when you are successful."
"Sir, I don't know whether we will be successful." "Never start with diffidence," he advised me. "Always start with confidence. When you are successful you must give back to society. Society gives us so much; we must reciprocate. I wish you all the best."
Then JRD continued walking up the stairs. I stood there for what seemed like a millennium. That was the last time I saw him alive. Many years later I met Ratan Tata in the same Bombay House, occupying the chair JRD once did. I told him of my many sweet memories of working with Telco. Later, he wrote to me, "It was nice hearing about Jeh from you. The sad part is that he's not alive to see you today."
I consider JRD a great man because, despite being an extremely busy person, he valued one postcard written by a young girl seeking justice. He must have received thousands of letters everyday. He could have thrown mine away, but he didn't do that. He respected the intentions of that unknown girl, who had neither influence nor money, and gave her an opportunity in his company. He did not merely give her a job; he changed her life and mindset forever.
Close to 50 per cent of the students in today's engineering colleges are girls. And there are women on the shop floor in many industry segments. I see these changes and I think of JRD. If at all time stops and asks me what I want from life, I would say I wish JRD were alive today to see how the company we started has grown. He would have enjoyed it wholeheartedly.
My love and respect for the House of Tata remains undiminished by the passage of time. I always looked up to JRD. I saw him as a role model for his simplicity, his generosity, his kindness and the care he took of his employees. Those blue eyes always reminded me of the sky; they had the same vastness and magnificence.
(Sudha Murthy is a widely published writer and chairperson of the Infosys Foundation involved in a number of social development initiatives. Infosys chairman Narayana Murthy is her husband.)
Article sourced from: Lasting Legacies (Tata Review- Special Commemorative Issue 2004), brought out by the house of Tatas to commemorate the 100th birth anniversary of JRD Tata on July 29, 2004.
Poem For 7/11 Mumbai Blast
Some were chatting, some playing cards,
Just then it happened, a BOOM noise came
Bones and Flesh got mixed with the mud
The colonies and hutmets around created a help fleet
A cowardly act of a few men without heart
How can somebody do such a ghastly act
Ministers rushed in to appear in every camera frame
Please Mr Ministers take some action that speaks loud
Positive Attitude
Father: I want you to marry a girl of my choice
Son: "I will choose my own bride!"
Father: "But the girl is Bill Gates's daughter."
Son: "Well, in that case...ok"
Next Father approaches Bill Gates.
Father: "I have a husband for your daughter."
Bill Gates: "But my daughter is too young to marry!"
Father: "But this young man is a vice-president of the World Bank."
Bill Gates: "Ah, in that case...ok"
Finally Father goes to see the president of the World Bank.
Father: "I have a young man to be recommended as a vice-president."
President: "But I already have more vice- presidents than I need!"
Father: "But this young man is Bill Gates's son-in-law."
President: "Ah, in that case...ok"
This is how business is done!!
Moral: Even If you have nothing, You can get Anything. But your attitude should be positive
Getting Bored in Office
If you find it very boring in the office, here are some tips:
1. Form a detective agency to find out who is quitting next.
2. Make blank calls to your Boss.
3. Send mails from lotus notes (outlook) to your internet mail (and immediately get to the internet and see who reaches first, you or your mail?) and read them there, and note down the time they take to reach there. Then do vice versa............. !!
4. Rearrange the furniture, i.e. flick someone else's chair just to irritate him/her.
5. Count your fingers (and toes if you still get bored).
6. Watch other people changing their facial ex-pressions while working and try changing your ex-pressions also.
7. Try to stretch status meetings as longer as possible, just by asking silly doubts. 8. Make faces at strangers in office.
9. Have a two hour lunch; it's a big social occasion.
10. Learn to whistle.
11. Revise last week's newspaper.
12. Hold "How fast my computer boots" competitions.
13. Practice aiming the coffee cup into the dustbin.
14. Compile "How to waste your day"
15. Pick up phone and dial non-existing nos.
16. Have work breaks in between tea.
17. Count maximum no of applications your computer can open at time.
18. For Win NT/95 users....Move things to Recycle bin and restore them..Then repeat this process.
19. Look at someone & try to imagine how(s) he might have looked when(s) he was 5 years old.
20. Read jokes and send jokes.
21. Make full use of the comfortable chair and table provided and take a nap.
Monday, 5 February 2007
Three Important Corporate Lessons:
Lesson Number One:
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?" The crow answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.
Lesson Number Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!
Morals of this story:
(1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth shut
Same Colours
The visual system needs to determine the color of objects in the world. In this case the problem is to determine the gray shade of the checks on the floor. Just measuring the light coming from a surface (the luminance) is not enough: a cast shadow will dim a surface, so that a white surface in shadow may be reflecting less light than a black surface in full light. The visual system uses several tricks to determine where the shadows are and how to compensate for them, in order to determine the shade of gray "paint" that belongs to the surface.
The first trick is based on local contrast. In shadow or not, a check that is lighter than its neighboring checks is probably lighter than average, and vice versa. In the figure, the light check in shadow is surrounded by darker checks. Thus, even though the check is physically dark, it is light when compared to its neighbors. The dark checks outside the shadow, conversely, are surrounded by lighter checks, so they look dark by comparison.
A second trick is based on the fact that shadows often have soft edges, while paint boundaries (like the checks) often have sharp edges. The visual system tends to ignore gradual changes in light level, so that it can determine the color of the surfaces without being misled by shadows. In this figure, the shadow looks like a shadow, both because it is fuzzy and because the shadow casting object is visible.
The "paintness" of the checks is aided by the form of the "X-junctions" formed by 4 abutting checks. This type of junction is usually a signal that all the edges should be interpreted as changes in surface color rather than in terms of shadows or lighting.
As with many so-called illusions, this effect really demonstrates the success rather than the failure of the visual system. The visual system is not very good at being a physical light meter, but that is not its purpose. The important task is to break the image information down into meaningful components, and thereby perceive the nature of the objects in view.
Saturday, 3 February 2007
Dil Deewana
Rishta aisa hona chahiye joh hamein APNA MAAN sake,
Dekhlo awaaz dekar pass apne paoge,
Dil ke karib wo is kadar pehle na the,
Chahat par ab aitbar na raha,
Kisi par itna eitbar kyon hai,
Jab koi paigam diye nahi jate,
Tanhaiyo se nahi ham mehfil se darte hai,
Sharp is ur memory, sweet is ur name,
Warren Buffet - Second Richest Man
There was a one hour interview on CNBC with Warren Buffet, the second richest man who has donated $31 billion to charity.
Here are some very interesting aspects of his life:
1) He bought his first share at age 11 and he now regrets that he started too late!
2) He bought a small farm at age 14 with savings from delivering newspapers.
3) He still lives in the same small 3 bedroom house in mid-town Omaha, that he bought after he got married 50 years ago. He says that he has everything he needs in that house. His house does not have a wall or a fence.
4) He drives his own car everywhere and does not have a driver or security people around him.
5) He never travels by private jet, although he owns the world's largest private jet company.
6) His company, Berkshire Hathaway, owns 63 companies. He writes only one letter each year to the CEOs of these companies, giving them goals for the year. He never holds meetings or calls them on a regular basis.
7) He has given his CEO's only two rules. Rule number 1: do not lose any of your share holder's money. Rule number 2: Do not forget rule number 1.
8) He does not socialize with the high society crowd. His past time after he gets home is to make himself some pop corn and watch television.
9) Bill Gates, the world's richest man met him for the first time only 5 years ago. Bill Gates did not think he had anything in common with Warren Buffet. So he had scheduled his meeting only for half hour. But when Gates met him, the meeting lasted for ten hours and Bill Gates became a devotee of Warren Buffet.
10) Warren Buffet does not carry a cell phone, nor has a computer on his desk.
11) His advice to young people: Stay away from credit cards and invest in yourself.
Friday, 2 February 2007
Letter to Boss...
a mail from an Employee who was supposed to be busy working at Clientside
on a critical project. It had the subject - "TaTa - Bye Bye". With the
worst premonition he opened the mail and read the content with trembling hands:-
Dear Sir,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you, but I'm leaving the job. The offer was too lucritive and attractive for me to turn down. I had to abscond because I wanted to avoid a scene with the HR and you.
Your faithful employee,
S. W. Engineer
At the bottom of the page were the letters "PS". Hands still trembling, the Boss read:
PS: Dearest Boss, none of the above is true. I'm am still busy working at client side. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my "Request to reconsider my Salary Appraisal" attached with this mail.
Thursday, 1 February 2007
Interview With God
"So you would like to interview me?" God asked.
"If you have the time" I said.
God smiled. "My time is eternity." "What questions do you have in mind for me?"
"What surprises you most about humankind?"
God answered...
"That they get bored with childhood, they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again."
"That they lose their health to make money... and then lose their money to restore their health."
"That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future."
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived."
God's hand took mine and we were silent for a while.
And then I asked...
"As a parent, what are some of life's lessons you want your children to learn?"
"To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved."
"To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others."
"To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness."
"To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them."
"To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most, but is one who needs the least."
"To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings."
"To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently."
"To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves."
"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"
God smiled and said, "Just know that I am here... always."
Dil Ke Aarmaan..
Bedard Kuch Dost Aise ho gaye hai hamare,
Ishq se mili hai jo tanhai humein,
Tera dukh hum seh nahi sakte,
Har Ek Jazbat ko juban nahi milti,
Khul kay ezhar-e-mohabbat karna hamari aadat na thi,
Chote se dil ko milte jakham bahut hai,
Humne Ansuo se poocha,
Bahut chaha magar tumko bhula na sake,
Kasur na unka tha na mera,
Jab pyar karna sikh liya, to pyar nibhana bhi sikh liya,
True Love
Definitions Of Project Management
Who To Blame
They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes.
When the boy was round two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open.
He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and keep it in the cupboard.
His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter.
The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its colour and drank it all.
It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages.
When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died.
The mother was stunned.
She was terrified how to face her husband.
When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked at his wife and uttered just five words.
QUESTIONS:
1. What were the five words?
2. What is the implication of this story?
ANSWERS:
The husband just said "I am with you Darling".
No one is to be blamed.
Celebration
Celebration means......
A winter evening.
Four friends.
One barsaat.
Four glasses of beer.
Celebration means......
Hundred bucks of petrol.
A rusty old bike.
And an open road.
Celebration means......
Maggi noodles.
A hostel room.
4.25 a.m.
Celebration means......
3 old friends.
3 separate cities.
3 coffee mugs.
1 internet messenger.
Celebration means......
Rain on a hot tin roof.
Pakoras deep-frying.
Neighbours dropping in.
A party.
Celebration means......
You and mom.
A summer night.
A bottle of coconut oil.
A head massage.
Gossiping about absent family members.
You can spend
Hundreds on birthdays,
Thousands on festivals,
Lakhs on weddings,
but to celebrate all you have to do is spend your Time with your loved ones.
Keep in touch with your loved ones ........That's real celebration!
Professionals
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat which isn't there.
A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and sells the cloth.
A journalist is someone who spend 50% of its time not saying what he knows and 50% of its time talking about things he doesn't know.
A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.
How to put the right person in the right chair?
Does your Company have a problem in recruiting the right person for the right chair? If yes, try this simple experiment. Put around 100 bricks in some particular order in aclosed room with an open window. Then send 2-3 candidates into the room and close it from outside. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours, and then analyze the situation:
If they are counting and recounting the number of bricks -
PUT THEM IN ACCOUNTS DEPT.
If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks -
PUT THEM IN ENGINEERING.
If they are arranging the bricks in some other order -
PUT THEM IN PLANNING.
If they are throwing the bricks at each other -
PUT THEM IN OPERATIONS.
If they are sleeping -
PUT THEM IN SECURITY.
If they have broken the bricks into pieces -
PUT THEM IN INFORMATION TECHNOLOGY.
If they are sitting idle -
PUT THEM IN HUMAN RESOURCE DEPT.
If they have thrown the bricks out of the window -
PUT THEM IN THE MATERIALS DEPT.
If they are clinging onto the bricks -
PUT THEM IN TREASURY.
If they say they have tried different combinations,yet not a brick has moved -
PUT THEM IN SALES.
If they have already left for the day -
PUT THEM IN MARKETING.
If they are staring out of the window -
PUT THEM IN THE EXPORT.
AND last but not least..........If they are talking to each other and not a brick hasmoved -
PUT THEM IN TOP MANAGEMENT
Mooooods...
Moods of a woman:
An angel of truth & a dream of fiction,
She's afraid of a wasp,
Will scream at a mouse;
but will tackle a stranger alone in d house.
Sour as vinegar, sweet as a rose;
She'll kiss u one minute, then turn up her nose.
She'll win u in rage, enchant u in silk;
She'll b stronger than brandy, milder than milk.
At times she'll be vengeful, merry n sad;
She'll hate u like poison & love u like mad.
Moods of a man:
Hungry
Horny
Sleepy
Prison Life V/s Full-Time Job
In prison you spend the majority of your time in an 8' X 10' cell.
At work you spend most of your time in a 6' X 8' cubicle.
In prison you get three meals a day.
At work you only get a break for one meal and you have to pay for that one.
In prison you get time off for good behavior.
At work you get rewarded for good behavior with more work.
At work you must carry around a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.
In prison a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you.
In prison you can watch TV and play games.
At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.
In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere.
At work you are just ball-and-chained.
In prison you get your own toilet.
At work you have to share.
In prison they allow your family and friends to visit.
At work you cannot even speak to your family and friends.
In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers, with no work required.
At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for the prisoners.
In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out.At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and inside bars.
In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time.
At work there are some programs you can never get out of.
In prison there are wardens who are often sadistic.
At work we have managers.